Loyal to the lost
by 101weirdways
Summary: join merlin as he fights for his rights as a sorcerer! Freya is dead, but she hasn't died for nothing. Will he stay Loyal to Arthur or will he join the dark side? FIND OUT NOW...
1. Chapter 1

**hey guys! Its my first ever fan fiction! I apologise in advance for any mistakes or typos, I have to start somewhere. I'll try to upload quite regularly about 1-2 chapters each time( don't worry they're not that long) but don't pin me to that. hope you enjoy it (:**

 **chapter one**

Crystal clear raindrops falling down, down, down, splashing into collective pools on the earthy, autumnal ground. An ironic weather choice, mirroring Merlins salty tears. The clear droplets slid down his face, plummeting towards the floor.

The lake was slowly building up waves, lapping the cool water over Merlins legs and submerging her pale face under the water. Letting go is always hard, but in this case Merlin would find it hard to forgive and forget. Arthur. Fire, destruction and visions of his face stirred up in Merlins mind like a whirlpool in a black sea, poisoning his reputation like a plague.

"I will avenge you Freya," whispered the mournful sorcerer, "I will do whatever it takes."

He turned his back on Avalon and crumpled like a piece of paper on the bank, The sound of the lake gently lapping in his ears. The Rain still poured, printing patterns on the waves...

" I promise"

 **Chapter two**

The journey back to Camelot from Avalon took half a day at Merlins wandering rate, but it still not long enough for him to decide what his motivations were going to be on homecoming. After all, he was still Arthurs servant and loyal subject to Uther. As he trudged through the gates, and through the lower town, the place was buzzing with the mid-day bustle.

Stationed at a slightly opulent and classy stall cluttered with cups and plates stood Gwenivere, long, chocolate hair down, wearing a nice, pale-pink dress. She was holding a glossy, wooden cup in one hand and a small stack of patterned clay plates in the other and seemed to be weighing them up with an indecisive look on her face. Despite Merlin's best effort not to be noticed by anyone, she caught His eye, ushering him over.

Merlin sighed softly and plodded over to the stall. Luckily, He had never met the stall owner, who was a young blonde woman, occupied with stitching together a simple, purple purse, however he did work out that she cant have been that bright as the pricing on the crockery was like buying silver for the price of dirt.

"classy." he remarked, looking at the immaculately patterned plates. He was desperately trying to avoid Gwen's gaze with fear of cracking into floods of tears. Freya was still all he could think of.

"oh I don't know what I'm thinking. what would a serving girl want with these?"

Merlin grunted, half a world away.

"Are you all right?" inquired Gwen, starting to notice something about her friends enthusiasm. Subconsciously, Merlins eyes had drifted over to a hand drawn poster of a fierce and blood thirsty bastet... Freya. Gwen, unfortunately, followed his gaze and said...

"That beast has gone now, Arthur has defeated it like everyone knew he would. The town is rejoicing... I see nothing to be upset about!"

Beast? The word shot though his mind like a spear. So that's all she was now...a great, evil BEAST! Freya had learnt to be unloved and alone. the way people treated her was sick! An anger like burning oil flooded Merlin's face.

"How do you know that!" shouted Merlin, sharp and out of the blue. Gwen gazed up at Merlin, who staring at her with fire in his eyes. His pupils were like an eclipse, large and intimidating while his cheeks were a boiling scarlet. "How can we be sure!" the cork was off the bottle now and Merlin was as good as steaming. Beast! "Stop making assumptions Gwenivere, you don't know anything about her!" His voice had slowed to a snarling, stabbing whisper. As he tried not to cry, he bit the inside of his cheeks till the were swollen and a sickly, bloody taste intoxicated his mouth.

"Merlin...?A strangled voice coughed out of Gwen's throat as she stood there shocked and stitched to the ground. The blonde girl behind the stall stared in disbelief at the drama going on in her face. Her mouth even dropped open at the sight of the offbeat scene in front of her.

Merlin Paid no attention and glared at Gwen for a few seconds with a panting breath like foxhound on a hunt. His eyes still burned through Gwen's innocent face which was struck with total incredulity.

Suddenly, he whipped round and stormed up the street, weaving in and out of the towns people with such agility he was out of Gwen's sight in a flash, violently wiping his eyes with his sleeve.

He could not bear to go back to Giaus or Arthur now, so he found a small, lowly backstreet where he collected himself into a tight ball, crying and crying until the sun hung low over the citadel.

 **That's all for now! really hope you liked it (;**

 **will try to upload again soon. BTW I'd rather you don't review this but I don't mind a little bit of feedback.**

 **Before I forget I just need to give a shout out to Samantha2611 who got me going with fan fiction so you owe it all to her ==D**

 **see you soon Xxx**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello and welcome to chapter two /three... I know confusing!**

 **sorry there were some problems with this coming up before but if you are reading this it should be fine now.**

 **Chapter 3**

Not long after the last stall packed up and went home, Merlin knew he could not stay there all night, the patrols surveying the city would not allow anything of the sort.

Reluctantly, he stood up and made his way down the street, towards the great castle shadowing the entire town. The white pillars stood bravely like the guards dotted over its thick walls and flaming torches lit it up like a beautiful shrine. Even to its most common visitors, it was a sight to behold.

But Merlin took next to no notice of its impressive, grandness and elegance and carelessly kicked a stone across the floor. Although he did feel slightly better after leaving his feelings to run free-range, he still didn't expect Gaius to understand. Even if he did, he didn't want anyone to carry his burden. He had decided it would be a secret to everyone but him and it would be his encouragement for everything. He headed towards the well to clean himself up. The sky was going pink in the evening light and birds squawked in the distance. Shutters were closed and candles were lit in every house on the street.

He washed his red eyes until the reflection staring back at him was looking moderately normal. Inside, the feeling of upmost pain was Killing him, like he had lost a chunk of his body. A choking lump in his throat made it hard to breathe. He was feeling pain inside but he knew it had to stay there... Inside.

In the pool of water in front of him, his mirrored image attempted a smile, stiffly curling his lips up so two distinctive dimples dotted his face. He wouldn't even fool Arthur with a face like that.

Eventually,Merlin gave up and punched the water-face, breaking the surface and sending splashes of the liquid flying though the air, making the rough cobblestone beneath him wet and slippery. Tired, he bent his head in arms over the well. The gloomy clouds he encountered at Avalon had caught up with him in Camelot and spits of rain sprayed Merlin in the face. Despite this, he still glared at the face in the well. The water was shimmering in the early moonlight, contrasting with the blackening water.

'tell me this gets better' thought Merlin as he closed his heavy eyes.

Then he took a deep breath and darted toward the steps, climbing them two at a time. He flew through corridors and hallways until he was facing the wooden door of his chambers. Letting his panting soften, he waited outside for a few seconds, his nose nearly touching the splintered surface of the door he had seen a hundred times.

With a sharp inhale, Merlin lifted the latch and went inside.

"Ah Merlin! Don't suppose you could pass me that book...?"

 **So there we are. another short chapter but the next should be out pretty much straight away.**

 **I had a total writing MANIA in the car yesterday because we had a long journey to take so all should be quite fast...**


	3. Chapter 3

**Don't worry you are not going crazy! both this and the last chapter is chapter 3. I'm just trying to catch up to make the numbering right... IT'S COMPLICATED!**

 **Anyway... this is chapter 3/4 so I hope you enjoy!**

 **Chapter 3**

Surprisingly, passing various strange liquids and tools to Giaus was quite therapeutic and Merlin was feeling twelve times better as he flopped onto his bed. It had gotten late and the day had been too cataclysmic for Merlin to bear.

This time had also given him a chance for him to think and it had come to him... Freya wasn't the first.

Over the years, when the mighty Uther Pendragon had reigned the land, so many innocent sorcerers, animals and hybrids like Freya had been slaughtered in the name of the king. It sickened Merlin to think that Uther actually thought it gave him an air of power and strength when all it was showing was how people should cower in his shadow.

However, some of it was magic's fault. Too many examples of evil magic, black magic, had been waved in front of the Pendragon's faces so they came to be in the fixed mindset that all magic was a grave sin, punishable by death.

Some of those with magic had subconsciously been blackening their own reputation, even when they thought they were displaying courage for their kind.

Merlin thought that if they could see magic for what it really was instead of constant evil actions from the likes of Morgana and Nimueh, then the effects would be revolutionary.

Merlin started to plan Methods in his mind of how to achieve such an ambitious target.

One way he could think of doing it was to kill off every dark sorcerer and beast, the ones committed to bloodshed. This way, the only ones left, including himself, would be kind and honourable, capable of healing mortal sickness with a wave of their hand and spreading calm and security throughout Camelot and beyond.

However, it would rely on killing the likes of Morgana which would require the top end of resilience and skill. The whole land knew of the devastating destruction she was capable of and doing anything out of place in her presence was a death wish.

Also, Merlin knew he could not spill that much blood. Uther had been trying for years and that just increased the number of enemies he had made. His trait for giving people a second chance may play as a weakness given the circumstance.

He thought this idea over many times but the pros proved a much smaller pile than the cons so eventually he discarded it.

Before Merlin had the chance to replace the plan with another, Giaus called him to a rather late but well deserved dinner.

When he stood up though, he was brisk and without hesitation, feeling light and uplifted. This may have seemed good but Merlin instantly felt a sharp pang of deep guilt.

He felt guilty that Freya could be so easily replaced with vengeance in his mind. She was just as peaceable as he had been and Merlin knew he must uphold his reputation for her. Merlin was therefore left so confused of what to feel, peace or vengeance, that he felt dizzy and sat back down again.

As much as he hated to think it, Merlin had to get on with his life. Freya had not died to nothing. She had made him realise what he had to do for equality and he had to do it before every known sorcerer perished at Uther's cruel hands.

He knew he could not fall flat at the death of one, when so many had died already.

Merlin had known Freya for a few days before she was brutally murdered and if that was all it took for her to guide Merlin to success, then she was very special indeed.

From then on out, Merlin pledged that everything was for and because of Freya.

For that, he was eternally grateful.

 **You can't say you didn't think of Toy Story in that last line!**

 **Hope you liked it :D**

 **BTW I just want to say thanks to everyone who read my last chapters... it means a lot! It does mean that I can write instead of maths homework! JOKING... but I would rather do fan fiction than solve maths equations :P**

 **See you soon Xxx**


	4. Chapter 4

**Heya again... Yes i'm back!**

 **welcome to chapter 4 written in the FLUFFIEST PJ'S EVER!**

 **anyway, hope you enjoy :P**

 **Chapter 4**

Merlin awoke inspired the next morning, as the light rain pattered on his window pane and he rolled out of bed. He had promised himself that there would be no more thinking, only acting from now on, so he could succeed his ambitious goal. He had a lot of work to do and ,admittedly, not very long.

Although he knew he had not a moment to spare, there was one rather major problem that went by the name of Arthur Pendragon.

He got change in an inhumanly short amount of time and was out of his bedroom door in a flash. Unfortunately, Merlin's haste caused him to trip over a pile of books, carelessly stacked in the middle of the floor, and comically smacked his face on the the floor.

"meant to do that!" he groaned, staring at Giaus's leather shoes.

"surely you can't be that excited to meet Arthur today!" Said Giaus as Merlin crawled back onto his feet with help from the table leg and brushed himself down.

"why ever not!" bluffed Merlin,"I loved being bossed about, worked hard... you know!"

"oh..." replied Giaus, genuinely believing Merlin's sarcasm.

"I was joking, before you get any ideas" he ensured, popping grapes, which were on the table, into his mouth.

" Shame, I must say my leech tank needs a good clean" Giaus called wishfully as Merlin quickly advanced for the door, a large chunk of bread in his hand.

He strode through the halls of the castle still driven to do good and complete the challenging tasks of the greatest warlock, starting with waking up Arthur.

Merlin threw open the long, red curtains in the prince's bedroom matching the sound of a swooshing dragon flying in the sky, revealing a stream of sunlight like shimmering fairy dust onto Arthur's face. Merlin poured a goblet of fresh water, as clear and clean as the lake of Avalon, and placed it carefully of the table next to the bed. He had phoenixes flying in his mind and was feeling unusually elated.

"Rise and shine sleepy head!"He called, and Arthur squirmed in bed. "Wake up! you have duties to attend to, a city to run, various random villages to protect!" encouraged Merlin, but Arthur was having none of it.

"that's what my father's for!" He groaned.

"Lame excuse!" replied Merlin regrettably ,as a perfectly plumped cushion came sailing his way.

"Merlin!" shouted Arthur, wondering if his servant really just insulted the king.

"Alright, sorry." Apologized Merlin unconvincingly.

Arthur rolled out of bed and grabbed the drink Merlin poured a minute before, downing it in one huge gulp.

"Decided to come to work today then?" Arthur remarked.

Merlin suddenly lost his enthusiasm and went quiet. He glanced over his shoulder at Arthur, reluctant to remember the thundercloud of yesterday.

"where were you?" he asked.

"Uh... I was ill," lied Merlin, deciding it would be best if Freya stayed out of this,"Couldn't get out of bed."

"Ah." said Arthur, clearly not one hundred percent convinced.

" Fever, vomiting, room spinning, you know?" Merlin elaborated.

"yes, thanks" said Arthur, skin tinging green at the thought "Er well I'm glad you're back..."

"really?" Merlin felt complimented by this and smiled as he arranged his masters clothes.

"Of course! my armor needs polishing, dirty dishes cleaning, clothes washing..."

Merlin just stared at Arthur as he reeled of a list of tiring chores, some of which he was sure were impossible for human completion.

It was going to be a long day...

 **There you go... hope you like it. I tried to put a bit more humor in this chapter, it's been quite solemn so far so i proved i can be a funny person :-D**

 **probably won't upload next chapter so quick this time... i've seen enough of this screen for one day!**

 **just want to say another thanks to the people reading this... spread the word!**

 **bye Xxx**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello again. Back for chapter 5 are we! was soooooo distracted at school today as literally all I wanted to do was write :(**

 **But anyway here I am again, sitting at the computer. Hope the next five minutes of your life are full of fascinating Merlin-ness**

 **Chapter 5**

After a few morning stretches, Arthur ordered Merlin to bring him his clothes for the day.

Merlin looked puzzled by this request as normally, the prince had breakfast in his night-clothes.

"Now sire?" asked Merlin, unsure of this possible mix-up. He was not yet finished in filling Arthur's wash bowl with some water he had collected earlier and always hated leaving jobs unfinished."Are you not having breakfast?"

Merlin looked round at Arthur, who was now sipping from another goblet of water he had poured himself, with a puzzled expression on his face.

Arthur stared at Him for a moment, wondering what was with al the confusion.

" It's alright merlin, you've got a face like a dog that's forgotten how to bark, I haven't asked you to built a castle!" Joked Arthur," I promised my father I would eat with him today."

"Oh I see"

"I honestly can't believe you sometimes Merlin, I ask you to do the simplest things..."He sighed and trailed off into an inaudible murmur as he slumped down into a chair, goblet still to hand.

" And you're OK with that?" asked Merlin, curious about the breakfast plan. Something told him that Arthur was uneager to participate with this whole dining situation. He was unusually tired and hesitant for a prince of Camelot.

"Between you and me Merlin, I'm not entirely to sorts with my father." He answered, in a low voice as if there was someone else in the room who would not take what he had said as lightly as Merlin had.

Merlin held out Arthur's shirt and he got out of his chair to take it.

"No?" replied Merlin, Shocked at his Surprise as this seemed to happen rather regularly. Besides, this could be his big chance. If Father and son were not in agreement, the fight for magical rights would be so much more simple as Uther seemed a major setback for Merlin, a main enemy.

"No." Said Arthur, Shortly.

"Have you got training later?" asked Merlin, taking the hint that Arthur was bored of the subject and wanted to move on.

The conversation died into a boring Q&A between the two, so Merlin concentrated more on Arthur's belt buckle than Uther and soon the prince was fully clothed and ready for a 'quality time' meal.

"Thank-you, that'll be all," nodded Arthur with a heavy sigh," you can go now."

"Thank-you, my lord." Merlin replied to this slightly uncommon formality and he walked out of the door taking with him the tray with the empty jug and cup on it.

He proceeded on his way to the kitchen to return the silver ware, promptly wandering through the maze of corridors. He was swiftly swinging round the corner of one, particularly prolonged hallway when he literally bumped into Gwenivere, who was hauling a pile of colourful sheets with her. However, thanks to Merlin's clumsy haste, all of these sheets were now neatly scattered on the stone floor.

"Merlin!" cried Gwen, not particularly angry but surprised to see him. Then Merlin remembered the little encounter they'd had the previous day. Merlin knew he had to do something...

"Gwen...look...I..." Merlin spluttered in a confusion of words. He started again, taking a deep breath." I'm sorry about yesterday, I wasn't myself."" He couldn't help but smile at his achievement of actually being able to speak.

"Clearly." replied Gwen, still feeling slightly intimidated by her friend.

"I should't have been so rude...sorry...I'm sorry" apologised Merlin.

Gwen bent her head to the side and realised this apology was genuine." You know there's something odd about you Merlin." she paused and then propped her head upright again," It's OK, really."

"good." Merlin sighed with relief that he was able to patch up their friendship and nodded. An Awkward silence hung in the air as the two servants just stood there. Suddenly, Merlin snapped back into reality and bent down to collect up the sheets that were still strewn across the floor.

"Oh yes right!" exclaimed Gwen as he handed them back to her, crumpled and messy. She coughed quietly at them.

'you idiot' Merlin insulted himself inside his head and looked up at Gwen.

"Sorry again." He said out loud and, embarrassed, stiffly smiled unconvincingly.

Before he could cause anymore damage between them, he quickly swung round and veered up the corridor, cringing at the meeting hoping it would soon, naturally, blow over...

 **There you go!**

 **I feel so sorry for Merlin**

 **Ignore my first message and let me know what you think in a review. Thanks again to followers and viewers :P**

 **BTW might be doing a shorter side story as well as this story soon so remember to look out for it.**

 **OVER AND OUT Xxxx**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter six finally! Sorry i haven't been as quick as usual... School is a cruel place!**

 **anyway enjoy and please please review.**

 **Chapter 6**

Merlin was neatly arranging Arthurs expensive bedsheets by the time Arthur returned. As he burst through the wooden door of his chambers, Merlin knew he was motivated with urgency and expected something bad.

"we're going out!" he announced to his servant, walking over to his desk and surveying a series of complicated maps." One of the outlining villages saw a ...thing."

"ah yes, a thing" Merlin joked. He smoothed his hands over the sheets and grinned.

"sorry... I'm kind of sick of my father at the moment" explained Arthur. This was definitely a big chance for Merlin and he wasn't going to let it slip through his fingers. Was Arthur also sick of Uther's bloodthirsty ways?

"so you mentioned earlier." Merlin said, accounting for the conversation they had had that morning. However, the prince ignored his servant, as always and carried on.

" He doesn't do it for the people!" he complained, sorting the pieces of parchment into lots of different piles and counting something. "If a person has a problem, he won't sort it out unless it benefits him in some way."

Merlin had learned to just nod along to Arthur when he was having a rant over his father. He concentrated more on smoothing his hand over the scarlet sheets and patting the lumps out of them.

"It just agitates me!" he cried, picking up one of the more complex looking maps and bringing it over to the tall window in the corner of the room. Merlin didn't see how Arthur had coped all his life having Uther for a father. He was the most self-centred man he had ever met. Merlin couldn't even imagine being one of his few friends let alone his son as you would feel constantly shrunk down in his presence.

Unfortunately, while he pictured a thankfully imaginary relationship with the king, Merlin had subconsciously pulled a very unattractive face, his lips curling down and nose scrunching up.

"It's called a mirror Merlin." laughed Arthur, amused by his friends strange expression. One again, Merlin had succeeded in cheering up Arthur. It was a trait he was known well for and lucky to, as Merlin knew what a royal was like when they were grumpy... A royal pain, that's what!

"oh ha ha!" replied Merlin, turning back to his bed, plumping Arthur's pillows until they were as fluffy as clouds. " so when do we leave?"He asked, subtly tying to drop in the odd question, gathering as much information as he could on his opportunity to prove magic to Camelot.

"tomorrow," replied the prince, still surveying the map in his hand," and early to! It's a good day's ride and this is a creature of the night."

"So what is this thing." At least he was trying to hide his interest!

" Urm... Big and birdlike with a sharp beak and claws. From what's been reported, it looks highly intimidating and unattractive." he answered. This statement made Arthur droop over his map like a dying flower, as he pictured an ugly, bat like creature, hissing and squawking through a black moon, dangerous and blood thirsty.

But Merlin knew better than that! He knew how much a villager exaggerated. They would see a cute, defenceless little bunny and report an evil mutant hare. It was only because this creature was unidentified, by the village at least, the king had bothered to help. A wink of magic anywhere for miles and Camelot's men would be ordered to destroy it. Nonetheless, after deciphering the description from village code, Merlin pictured the animal perfectly in his head. Birdlike, beak and nocturnal... page 494 of Giaus's mythical creatures book, a GRIFFIN, one of the most friendly and peaceable animal in the land.

 **tah dah! things are finally looking up for Merlin!**

 **quite a short chapter i know but the first time i did it, it deleted itself :(**

 **Come back for more and please 100 times review and tell people about my story.**

 **Also check out my shorter one shots I wrote on my account, quick and easy for those random bus/tram/tube(subway if you are an American) trips.**

 **HOPE YOU LIKED :D**

 **See you all later Xxx**


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